The Losing Ticket
Some of the stories & observations that have been witnessed over my 50+ years. Join me as I retell some of the funny and not so funny experiences that my friends and I have been a part of. Topics will change as I try to find my voice and see if this can grow into something. Come along for the ride!
The Losing Ticket
The Losing Ticket Wrap up Show #1
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Joined by Rich and Greg to revisit and talk about some of the topics covered in the two previous podcasts.
Go on here.
SPEAKER_01Yay. Well, hello. This is uh Matt Stoltman, and welcome to the follow-up show for The Losing Ticket. With us today are two special guests, one Richard and one Gregory, and they're gonna expand and share some of their fun memories covering some of the topics over the last two podcasts. So I'm gonna hand it off to them and we'll see how this goes.
SPEAKER_03Hello, hello. Is that not the greatest 19 seconds in music history, first off? It is. It's a very great song. You could not have picked a better intro. Whoever gave him that idea, Greg. Good job. I think Matt originally found that. Oh, that's true, yeah, yeah. Little Jimmy Dickens. We have to give him credit, it's his show. I understand. Yeah, it's true. So yeah, I mean, the Matt Stoltman uh podcast, or what are we calling it? The losing ticket. Starting up with a bit. This is the that's gonna be the new intro, right there. That's gonna be the new intro. It has uh been a runaway success. Uh I believe Apple, it's upwards of seven viewers. Yes. And Spotify got eight viewers.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_03And then the miscellaneous ones got about 12 viewers. So this is way more than we thought would be uh achieved this early on. So the budget has expanded. Yes. We're now doing a post-game show.
SPEAKER_01Especially considering that my wife doesn't even uh listen to my podcast. Or probably my sister-in-law, she doesn't do it either.
SPEAKER_03And your wife actually left the room when we recorded, which I find to be offensive.
SPEAKER_01Well, she discussed, she's disgusted in me.
SPEAKER_03So I mean joined the club, you know. So the first episode was tremendous. It was about the South Buffalo Neighborhood Watch Facebook group. Um Greg and I, first of all, Greg and I are cousins. Uh we uh we met Matt uh through our uncle. So Matt's uh got about 10-15 years on us. We've always seen him as like a a younger brother. Yeah, like a little brother. Yes. Yeah, he's kind of like the younger version of us, but you know, just a good you know, we pick on him, but um you know, this this Facebook group, Greg and I both don't have Facebook. Never did. Allegedly. Allegedly. But this Facebook group that Matt created was so entertaining, so funny, we just had to be a part of it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Matt he created a monster with that. It was it was uh it started out slow, and uh I remember when he started talking about it on Voxer, that's when I got the idea of making a fake profile, which was Harry Shipman.
SPEAKER_03Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the war the greatest troll in Facebook history has just revealed himself. Batman has taken off the mask, vote. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Um, but then we were followed by uh Sorry, I just blew out the speakers.
SPEAKER_03Turn down your radio, uh, you 20 people. Jerry. Jerry.
SPEAKER_02Um Yeah, so we started making uh profiles on there. And then there was a uh profile shortly after that, uh Keith Jesperson.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. I was just telling, reminding uh Greg of the story. So uh Greg was Harry Shipman, the number one, the A number one. Our friend Dan, who has since you know in real life passed away, so he's no longer with us. He was Bill Myro. I'd say he was the number two troll. I I kind of brought up the rear. I was originally uh Gary Ridgway.
SPEAKER_02And then uh classic, classic career to me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, a good friend of mine who I I used to date, she got me right away. She knew it was me. Uh Gary Ridgway murdered people in the area where she lived. So she knew by my style of writing it was me, and called me out immediately and said, that's not funny. I said, Oh, I you know what, Tina? Oh, excuse me. Well not I'll never do that again. I apologize, and then I just made a brand new profile with another serial killer that she didn't recognize, and that was Keith Jesperson. But Keith Jesperson pales in comparison to the great Harry Shipman. I mean, you want to talk about a celebrity. He was a hero. Storm the beaches of Normandy, or so I've been told. I mean, this guy. I mean, as Matt astutely pointed out, in real life, people would ask you about Harry Shipman. Once they figured out that you were part of the neighborhood watch, they would ask. Like, how does that make you feel, Greg?
SPEAKER_02But I gotta give both of you guys kudos. First off, Matt would allow me to post all that ridiculous stuff on there. And Rich, well, Keith. Keith Jesperson was uh always would antagonize everybody and add on to the comments. So that would make it, you know, a lot funnier, and people would just get antagonized. But if there was somebody that would call out Harry on there, I would immediately text Matt. Be like, make sure they're not posting that because then there are people are gonna think I'm fake on there.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. So it's the benefits, it's you know, it's that who you know thing. It's the benefits of knowing people in power, like, hey, take care of that guy, you know. But I remember I was at a wedding, I was actually at Matt's son's wedding, and I met Matt's sister for the first time. She's from, or she lives in whoever, like South Africa or so. Who gives a shit? Who cares? South Africa. But I so I met her for the first time after knowing Matt my entire life, and she stared at me straight in the eye and goes, Are you Harry Shipman? And I said, No, I'm not. But I know who is. I didn't reveal who you are.
SPEAKER_02Thank you, Richard, for blowing my spot up. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_03But a hero, a hero. I mean, you were beloved. I mean, that doesn't happen in the troll community, but there you were. Great. But um, we talked about it. One of my thing about your your your post was posts were you always made people feel good. Like my trolling was I would piss people off. You brought smiles to the faces of thousands, literally. Oh, thank you, thank you. One of my favorites I always talk about is you uh somebody complained, remember, this is a neighborhood watch group we're talking about, and um somebody mentioned that their car was broken into, and your suggestion to them was to put a banana in front of their door, like Mario Kart logic and physics that prevent that was like your in you know, it'll never happen. Like it was so like you you said it like it was such an obvious thing. Like, don't lock your doors, put a banana there. They'll never be they'll slip and fall. I had a lot of time on my hands when we created this stuff.
SPEAKER_02I think I said also uh put some like grease or something on the door. Yeah. Yeah. Tried to get the door open and get grease all over their hands or something ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03Another thing you did, which was great, and this has showed how careful uh how much you cared about the community. Um you posted a Facebook ad. I don't think there's a Facebook marketplace yet. I don't know, I don't really know Facebook that well, but where you were selling used pizza boxes full of grease that could be used for heat for homeless people, which I thought, what a caring guy. You know what I mean? I mean, could I mean not he's a man of the people, this Harry Shipman, and uh just beloved.
SPEAKER_02Do you remember the bags? The um I think I this is what got Anne's attention. Um I went on there and I posted something about used bags for sale, five cents, and I just took pictures of like phase bags and stuff, and that's where she found it, and she's like, Are you really selling bags? I'm like, that was a good one. That was yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that's the thing is you get people going, You're not really doing it.
SPEAKER_01But you had people that thought you were legit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which is that was the best. It was the the keepers. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If you had like one response, that's all it took. If you had one person to say something negative, you knew you won. Because that would get people all gassed up.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. And I feel like it became easier once the pandemic happened, because let's face it, everyone was bored. Yes, yeah. And everyone was so pissed off about everything because they had nothing to do. Yeah. So it be made it a lot easier to fuck with people. Yeah you know, it really did. I mean I agree. I agree.
SPEAKER_01Remember when you used to post pictures about like they'd be like, oh, I think there's a rabid dog in the neighborhood or something, you'd have like a wolf.
SPEAKER_02Or you'd have like Well, you did the one with the um bear Bigfoot. There was a Bigfoot in Kaz. You screenshot it and people believed it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. That was funny. Kaz was used pretty uh pretty a lot. I remember during the uh we'll call them demonstrations of 2020, there were a lot of rumors that there were gonna be big ones in Buffalo. You know, demonstrations for, you know, was that the start of the George Floyd home? Yes, that's exactly correct. So and I used to tell people, oh, I think there's gonna be I think they're gathering all in Cass Park, and I think it's gonna be they're talking about hurting people and like burning down houses, and people were freaking out. And and I'm like, they're hiding like by the trees, they're hiding, they're waiting for people to go down the streets, they're gonna attack them, and people were going nuts. People who people who were believing it, and then people who weren't believing it who thought, you guys are pieces of shit. How could you do this? And it's like, well, because we have nothing to do either. You know, what are you gonna do?
SPEAKER_02You're masked up in the house and all the restaurants and bars are closed.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know. Overpass was closed. Overpass was yeah, yeah. I think it was called the blue wall then.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I think it was, yeah. A fine establishment.
SPEAKER_03Oh man, such great times, and um Yeah, and and I do remember my first memories, very lined up with what Matt talked about how with the original neighborhood watch spelled the King's English way. Let me get closer to the mic. And um I remember Matt would just send us, like you mentioned, Greg, screenshots of uh him and Dan just making fun of people in there and making reference. I believe Ruthie was brought up a lot too. Like you guys would use her as like a punching bag.
SPEAKER_01In a fun her and her friend, um, and I just remembered it and I forgot it again, but her and her friend, I would always throw under the box. I would tag them in the in the messages. Yeah, that's like okay, yeah. There was like two chicks had a fist flight in the Noco parking lot on uh at Bailey and McKinley. Oh yeah, and I would be like, Ruthie and whatever are having a fist fight. You know, and it was like, and she'd like somewhere would Paula, her name was Paula. I go, Oh, Paula and and Ruthie are having a fist flight again at again, mind you, at at Noco. And it was like two white trash, you know, and and they'd be like messaging Paula going, somebody's talking shit about you on Facebook. It was I loved it. And she knew that I was doing it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know, and it was fun to see the evolution of it, going from those humble beginnings of these PG little you know, to we go a couple years and all of a sudden it's you know hey, I uh Bill Morrow is is doing a ladies only party, and or hey, I just ran over a cat. If it's yours, it's on Gary Street. No cat was harmed in the making of that post, but people believed it, you know? And um it was just incredible. Just why and we'd all just, you know, people would get all upset, and then we would just we'd have our little chat room and we would post our results. It was like a dog bringing you a treat or bringing you their toy to show off. Like that's what we would do. We would screenshot what we did, screenshot the reactions. It was almost like a little pile of gold we had in our chat room was great.
SPEAKER_01I remember that summer being in my pool, and I'd have the phone like on the deck, and I'm laughing my ass off, and my neighbor's like, what's going on over there? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. Because like I knew we got somebody or Yeah, yeah. Especially when that Negro uh got killed, and then it really got real crazy. Oh, George Floyd.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I prefer African American. Well, sub-Saharan. Oh, excuse me. Okay, but um, yeah, it was just uh it was so much fun, and that was it was it was just our entertainment, you know. The streaming, the streaming could only last so long. You only you run out of the Tiger King, you don't get to watch so many of those before you know you need some more entertainment. That's what we did.
SPEAKER_01And that and that's what I think people had to understand. Like, we really didn't I I know I didn't, I don't think, I don't think you guys did. I did not give a fuck when people complained. Actually, I liked it. Yeah, yeah, that was so like that was the goal. That was the fact. They thought like I was gonna take personal offense because they badmouthed me or whatever. Yeah, when it got to the doxing, it kind of got a little whatever, but like I man, getting them riled up was just like the pinnacle of I mean my life. I don't know. It was so fucking fun, man.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh. And that the time it took for those people to actually fact check a lot of these posts, that was the best. It was like you can't be that dumb to believe all this stuff that's come out.
SPEAKER_03Telling you. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. I uh in and I think this at the time where Facebook is is got and you in all you people out there that have Facebook, you already know this, and we probably sound like idiots, but so Facebook had a separate app for messaging.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03Which I didn't know. So I was getting all these messages, private messages from people that were pissed off, like threatening me and stuff. And I didn't even know about it because I didn't have the messenger app.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you would see a little symbol above the messages. Yeah, I'd say you have to download a separate thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so and I I was too lazy to do that for a while, and then it was probably you, Greg, that said, hey, there's a you know, explained me the whole thing.
SPEAKER_01Facebook Messenger, right?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, something like that. And then I and then I opened it, and then there's all these messages. And I remember one was like, I must have been in a fight with some some woman in the ch in the chat or something. Was that when you were Keith or Keith, yeah. Okay. Gary Ridgway was very short, very short. I'd say maybe a few days before Tina fingered me for that one. But um Literally and figuratively. Oh, calm down. This is a P this is a family show. Obviously. But um This guy said, You really know how to treat women well, don't you? Like as some kind of shot. And I I and like you're talking to a serial murderer of women. Yeah, yeah. And so I go I replied to him, I see you've Googled me. Which he didn't. So I'm sure that at that point he did, and he goes, Oh fuck. I've like I've been had. You know what I mean? Like, uh, you know. But when they go to the point where they DM you and start threatening you, that's like the best. That makes your day. That's it. Yeah, it's like that warms your heart. It was so much fun.
SPEAKER_01I wish I saved mine. I had so many.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I had so fucking many of them.
SPEAKER_03Cause you were because you were getting because you had your real account. Well, and then you had the other one Don Nielsen.
SPEAKER_01But I yeah, I had Don Nielsen, but I never really did much with Don Nielsen. I I I kind of threw Dan under the bus with Don.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I did all my shit as me, and so that's where I fucked up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But at first it was really just a a big gag, and then when that idiot got killed, um, that it just snowballed into this bigger thing. You know, and then obviously the liberals of Western New York are a bunch of fucking whack jobs. Let's get them, let's get the mic close up. Yeah, they're you guys are a bunch of fucking retards. So you guys just couldn't handle yourselves just like you can't now, right? You know, you can't even define a fucking woman, but heaven forbid, you know, or what a motherfucking is, you motherfuckers.
SPEAKER_02I agree.
SPEAKER_01But my point is, is they even though they were the best, they ultimately ruined it. Like they ruined everything else.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was I like the comment that um I believe it was a second episode, Matthew. You said you handed it off to a certain person, and it's not funny anymore. Yeah, that was the best.
SPEAKER_01That's yeah, that was really wasn't because he it wasn't. And I it's a little disrespectful. It jumped the shark as you would say.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was a there was a golden period and it ended. Yeah, I think it was when Matt when Matt exited, I'd say. Yeah. That was and I I feel correct me if I'm wrong, Matt, did the membership go up in the pandemic? I feel like you guys started seeing crazy numbers when the pandemic happened.
SPEAKER_01We went from like, like I said, we started this with like 30 people, maybe 30 even. And it was just a gag. And it was that I talked about it, we had a picture of a boat, and we were gonna do the South Buffalo cruise. And that's I think when Ann joined.
SPEAKER_04Yes, yep.
SPEAKER_01But like it just started snowballing, and then my sister knows a ton of people, my sister-in-law knows a ton tons of people, so I think that leaked out a little, and then it just grew. But you're right, it went from like well, our most was like 10,500, I think. Yeah, like a little over 10,500.
SPEAKER_03I remember you guys in our little chat room, you and Dan, who is the I guess one B.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, yeah, him and who you corrected me. I said her name was Anne Marie. What was her name?
SPEAKER_02The Oh, uh, Kathy Lee. Kathy Lee. I think her last name well, I'm not gonna say her last year.
SPEAKER_01But she passed on. Yeah, maybe she was she was a very nice woman. And she didn't do it on purpose, and she was gold. Yeah, yeah. But she rot, oh, she stirred a fucking pot. But it was Kathy Lee, me.
SPEAKER_02Remember Bill Lee? The the religious dude.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Well, he was funny. Yeah, I think he was related to Kathy Lee.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think it was his her husband or her cousin. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But then Anne was like, she was in on the gag, and then Dan, you guys never really wanted to be that integral. You were just like a common person, but you weren't. Like you guys were main people. Yeah. But you just kind of like were floating in the in the you know, in the in the mess.
SPEAKER_03In the buckle brush.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Oh man. Can you imagine how fun it would have been if Jerry was part of that?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Jerry, Jerry, yeah. He would have been a good troll. Yeah. He would have been. He would have been a good troll.
SPEAKER_01Um I think I think we I mean, I had my I mean myself as the as the administrator, I was in Facebook jail sometimes months at a time. That's where I had to do the the the aliases. Yeah. Because I'm like, what am I gonna fucking do? Like I can't Yeah, you're you're stuck.
SPEAKER_02Or you would get booted off on your own.
SPEAKER_01Oh, because I would make a comment about like I didn't give a shit about Black Lives Matter or whatever it was who offended, you know, the you know, the they would actually kick you out in your own room though? No, Facebook would put me in jail. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02So I couldn't like the bigger Facebook.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I couldn't even log in for like a month. There was like it's like a it's like a 24 hour, then a three-day, then like I think it's a week, two weeks, and then a month, and then it's permanent. I was at actually on a month at one point. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_03I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_01And it really wasn't like I'm not calling people like bad words. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or attacking them.
SPEAKER_01It's just I'm and it's funny, it's because on the exact opposite side of this, the shit that they say is totally acceptable. Sure. It's not even happening today. Like on TikTok, I called somebody a transvestite. And it's like, but that's what you are. Like, but then someone could say like something totally off the wall, and it's like, oh, that's acceptable because it's like a left thing.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it's just the hypocrisy, which I find hilarious because now they're going against Zuckerberg and the Facebook people and all the A's, and it's like, and yet they were protecting these fuckemorons.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. I think what the the uh people with the aliases will say did well that we protected ourselves was we would just we would post things that were not directed at specific people, they're just general things that people would get pissed off at. Yeah. Like you posting about selling bar like bags is not attacking anybody. You know what I mean? I had a post where um so the George Floyd happened, and then everything had to change, right? So the Washington Redskins had to change their name. Yeah, Commander. It all so But who didn't change?
SPEAKER_00South Buffalo neighborhood wise.
SPEAKER_03So I made a post saying I said breaking news, Washington Redskins have changed their name to the George Floyd Redskins. Like, what the hell? It's so stupid, right? It was like a nuke. Like a nuke went off. Like you were you're so racist. Like, what?
SPEAKER_01It was you know, it's like a stupid joke. Yeah. They wanted to they wanted to fucking cancel George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, all these fucking people have to be.
SPEAKER_03But what was great, they're going after everybody. But but that was what was so great about it was something innocuous as that. People were so bored and just waiting to get pissed off over anything. It was just like it was like shooting fish in a barrel for us. It was it was so easy.
SPEAKER_01And and they had the IQ of force gone.
SPEAKER_03But not as successful, no, not as near as successful. So yeah, those were good times. And uh but you know, all things had to come to an end. And and really, how long could we keep that up for? That's the thing. I mean, I think that was always gonna be at least uh at least the troll aspect of it.
SPEAKER_01Your greatest television series came to an end at some point. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03You know, and Howard Stern came to an end.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, pretty much.
SPEAKER_03Pretty much. So yeah, I I think did it end the way you wanted it? No, but it did it end the red time? Probably. Because you know, life goes on, we all go back to work.
SPEAKER_01My only regret was that Jeff and Michelle got caught up in it.
SPEAKER_03Your son and your wife. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01If if they weren't caught up.
SPEAKER_03Well, that's what it's like the mafia. They go, they can't go after you, so these people who are pissed off, they go after and they don't realize it's a joke. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That's what's great about that.
SPEAKER_01I got I alright. If you don't know this by now, whoever doesn't know me, I am not, I'm I'm the dented can, and I don't give a fuck, right? So I am who I am. I'm too old to change, and I don't give a shit.
SPEAKER_02I love that attitude, Matthew. Oh yeah, that's why we don't use it.
SPEAKER_01I don't, yeah. So they so like, but but that doesn't mean that so people around me are like that. You know, they tolerate me. You know, I tolerate it. I'm like the the dirty penny that keeps fucking the show on the city.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Like like we don't the three of us, we don't agree on everything. We don't especially politics, but We were cool with each other. We d like I don't think Matt is the worst person in the world because he has certain thoughts or political opinions. You know what I mean? Like it's just we we all have agreements and disagreements, but we don't I'm not gonna like say, Matt, I can't talk to you anymore or I'm gonna go after and I'm gonna I'm gonna find out where your son works. Yeah, yeah. You know, that type of shit. That's just that's that's evil.
SPEAKER_01And then there's morons who won't talk to their family members because they voted for Trump or something. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's like a whoever, yeah. I know. You know, it's like it's just how how imp it's not that it's guys, it's like it's not that serious. You know, that's a crazy world. You gotta learn to laugh. You gotta learn you gotta learn to laugh, you know.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's what I like. Like these like the Kiltoni, I don't know if you guys ever watched Kill Tony, the his podcast. They're going back to the way it was. And that's why I love them. Like Shane Gills.
SPEAKER_03Blue stuff. Yeah, they're like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it's like I and it's like, you know what, you want to pull that that rubber band back, it's gonna snap eventually. Yeah. And all those years of and and it's it's not even really like it's it's really more the the the the white liberal I hate more than anybody. Like Mark Poland Carves? Oh, he's a moron. Yeah, because he he he he panders to his people, just like Hokel. You can't call him now a mother and a father in the state of New York. Oh, yeah. He's now a gestation parent or whatever it is. Like, are you you guys think you're so fucking smart with your 19 fucking degrees, but you can't define a fucking woman.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like you know, when we're all con and we're like all like maybe maybe there's a few of us that are bones still in the dirt. Some alien comes to fucking earth and they look at the bone structure, they're gonna know what was a female and what was a male. Not what they want to be called. Yeah, fucking follow science. Oh, you had to follow science during COVID, but now you don't have to follow science. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, there's people out there that believe that agree with me, and there's people that don't. And I you know what my own family doesn't agree with everything that I have to say, but that's okay. I don't attack them. To their face.
SPEAKER_03To their face, yeah. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly. And then uh, so I guess episode two was the growing up here. Matt's friends.
SPEAKER_02That was another good one. Yeah, both were very the only criticism I would have to say, Matthew, I wish we would have gone more in depth in the stories of the people. Yeah, yeah. I do already have a good storytelling.
SPEAKER_01I definitely have at least another one or two more episodes of that if I wanted to.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Go into like more like with Savar and Billy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but Savas, Savar was an acquaintance. He really wasn't like kind of like Daryl.
SPEAKER_02That's another thing.
SPEAKER_01I know some shit. Like I got some shit from like some of the parties. Like, I don't know, he's not gonna listen to shit. I don't give a fuck. But like your uncle's axe. We were like we used to go to Daryl North's basement. I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_02We used to go to Daryl's on the Harding Room, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So we used to go to his basement because dad had like a basement bar. And this was like like early 90s, maybe like 92, 91, 90, yeah, 91 maybe. And there were a whole bunch of alcoholics. That by then, like, Billy's drinking like a literally straight up vodka, like not that there's anything wrong with that. No, but like that's how bad the the alcohol was flowing, right? And uh Daryl had a picture of Ronnie under his under his mattress. Yeah. And it's like, what the fuck are you doing with a picture of your quote unquote best friend's wife in your mattress?
SPEAKER_03Not that there's anything wrong with that.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I got a picture of Rich's mom under my mattress, but that doesn't, you know. What?
SPEAKER_03This podcast is over.
SPEAKER_01But we're done. But it was just like, I mean, or they would hook so Michelle and I were just boyfriend and girlfriend at the time, but these people are fucking hooking up every other week, and they're all just drunks, and Daryl's sister was a whore of whores. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02We were gonna Oh my god. Like, I mean I gotta use the bathroom.
SPEAKER_03I know. I I gotta, I gotta Mike.
SPEAKER_01I thought we were talking about Facebook and Oh yeah, but I'm just saying, like, there's there's a lot more stories about my friends or stories between behind the friends. I guess so.
SPEAKER_02Holy shit.
SPEAKER_03I definitely won't be present when we go on. Yeah, we're gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna be back in the I'll like it though. I'm gonna be back in uh Orchard Park or whatever.
SPEAKER_01I'll be honest, the one guy on Harding I really, really liked was Stevie Faltisco. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Billy, for some reason, couldn't like not couldn't stand it, but he always treated him like shit.
SPEAKER_03I thought he was a nice guy. I like Steve.
SPEAKER_01And then it was and when I got a little older, he would end up playing, he was younger, but he would play hockey with us. And Stevie would always be like, oh hey man, thank you. You know, he would always be able to like approach me, and it's like, yeah, man, I'm not gonna sit there and Steve Faltisco had a great arm too.
SPEAKER_02When we used to play um football outside, that guy would throw 16 light posts in the bombs. And I remember Jiro would remember this story with uh with Steve Faltisco. So we would deliberately make him throw as far as he can so he would hit a car. And I remember the one time he threw the ball and he hit a guy's like mirror, and he was like, Oh, I gotta go and I gotta eat the lunch now, guys. He was afraid of the guy coming out and like yelling at him.
SPEAKER_03It's it's it's lunchtime.
SPEAKER_02Same with the slap shots when we would play hockey. We would be like, Come on, Steve, do that slap shot. Because he was like, what, 10 years older than us? Yeah, he thought he was older than me.
SPEAKER_01He was younger than yeah, he was a lot younger than me. He was like more like Jerry's age, maybe a little older than Jerry. He might be, yeah. A little older than Jerry's.
SPEAKER_02Jerry's what, 46?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so he might be like in his late 40s on. Yeah, yeah, where I'm in my mid-almost mid-50s.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he would have a killer slap shot, so we'd be like, come on, Steve, let's do a slap shot. And if it had a car man, he was out the door, man.
SPEAKER_01In uh in the St. Ambrose hockey, I had my buddy. I had my buddy in the first season. I had my Jerry was uh he wasn't supposed to be able to play the league because he was in first grade. But I said, no, you I'll take him. Like he'll be like on the fourth line in the corner, kind of. And he actually scored a goal, which is hilarious. I don't know if he remembers that. But I had Jerry he remembers, yeah. It was his only goal of his career. I'm sure he's in a notebook. I'm sure he's in a notebook under his bed.
SPEAKER_03He was he he made the all-star teams a couple times, but I think it was like one of those special all-star yeah, like his mom win the league. So he had to wear like an orange band around his hand. Yeah, like don't be too rough with this guy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And again, probably wanted to throw him out of the one all-star game over that one.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, one.
SPEAKER_01But but like I knew all the kids from like the neighborhood, and there was guys that you know, there were three other coaches at the time, and uh they didn't really know anybody.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I like like I'm taking like I in like the third, fourth round of the draft, I'm like, I'm gonna see Feltisco. Because I knew that you knew other athletics.
SPEAKER_04Like, I yeah, you know, like I mean I enjoyed it.
SPEAKER_01That was back when it was used to be Saturday mornings. That was fun, but like um man, talking about like the convicts running the the the the Sada Sound or whatever, like we got away with Bloody Murder back in the day. That was fun.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you get uh you get a school gym to run a league. That's pretty good.
SPEAKER_01And then we got to keep it after it and we used to play hockey. Yeah, that's cool. So we actually had like a you know with the boards and everything. We got to oh we we were there till like one in the morning sometimes playing hockey after uh after a yeah, because we use the um the tables for the boards, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yep, yeah. You'd have to set them all up and take them down.
SPEAKER_01I missed the smell of that gym. That had the same smell. Yeah. I don't know if it was that powder shit that they put on to like collect all the garbage or something.
SPEAKER_03It was always a weird floor too, like a brown. It wasn't a basketball gym. It was weird because it was like the floor was like not. Yeah, it was weird.
SPEAKER_01And I think they put a new floor in before they closed it. Did they? Yeah, they put like a blue floor, because I was in there for something when Drew was there. And it had a blue like a sports court. Oh I missed that old, like it was like a blackish brown, greenish, whatever it was. Yeah, I m I remember like the end zone for for football was like maybe like a foot. So like to score a touchdown, you had like a foot of end zone. Yeah. And and this is just a true story. So back in the day, and I know that I don't think they had it for you guys, and I think that's why Billy, I'm not gonna get into that, but that's where b the the hockey started. But they used to have a boys' club. And it was run by like high like timing guys. Like they were in time at the time. So like I mean, I was from like second grade to like eighth grade every Friday night for fifty cents, we would like for the first half, we would play basketball or football, and then we'd have like an organized basketball, football, or floor hockey. Yeah, you know, like the those older kids would organize it, and so it was fun. And then there was like I don't know if you remember this, but there used to be an arcade upstairs that had like foosball and that bowling.
SPEAKER_02That must have been before our I don't remember that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it had it had a foosball, it had a pinball machine, no video games, but like a pinball machine and air hockey.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, my my thoughts exactly. Yeah, she probably did.
SPEAKER_01And um, but going back to like how skinny those end zones were, this kid Peter, who I was in my class at St. Ambrose, went out for like a catch and he caught the ball, but he slammed into that wall like full speed, and he looks up and he just puts his hand up, and his hand was like eight inches over from his forearm. He didn't break it, he dislocated his hand.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I just remember him like holding it, and I freaked out. Yeah. And because I think we're like in fifth grade or sixth grade at the time, so we're old enough to understand, but like oh man. So I mean, there used to be a lot of shit that went down down there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, that's where you gotta get the meat wagon out.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Yeah, he was fine. But like, you know, at the time, you know, as a kid, you're like it warps your thinking, you know, when you see that your friend with a fucking hand, like a lot of good times, man.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I well, the first story you told was interesting. You you know uh story that we never heard. Um you're you're growing up in Ashton, your first friends was Chris and I think Michelle, right? Tom. And Tom, okay. So you made very clear that Michelle was it's not your wife, Michelle, who is Michelle, his wife is great, a woman of um tremendous patience. I agree. I would say she's an angel. And yes, there you go. Um but you know, not lost here, Greg, is the fact that he did admit to hitting a woman. He did say that he hit the girl. And by the way, if you notice when you listen, he after the words he goes, she was the toughest woman. Like, she was so tough. She scared all like he had to like make it seem like it was like, oh, it's okay. She was tough. It was okay that I hit her.
SPEAKER_01She was.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's okay.
SPEAKER_01Put it this way, at South Park, she stopped fighting girls.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, see, that's what I'm talking about. So like she she she was she ended up fighting guys. So, I mean, at least give us a reason why you hit the woman. Like, if you're gonna hit a woman, fine. Yeah, but at least tell us why. Was it an open hand backhand?
SPEAKER_01No, it was a closed fist punch right to the face. I punched her right in the nose. Right. But she's also punched me in the nose.
SPEAKER_03So but for all you super fans out there who want to listen back, who really get into the show, all two of you, listen back to how he talked about how tough she was after he admitted to punching her in the face. It's amazing how you know it sounds like an innocent story, but really if you put if you connect the dots, I uh you know, it's it's we're talking about a violent man here.
SPEAKER_00Well, what did I do to you when I first met you?
SPEAKER_03Oh, so well, it wasn't when you first met me, but I didn't hear the story. Oh, yeah, this is a good one. Um, tremendous trauma, Greg. So uh as mentioned at the top of the show, uh Greg and I are cousins. So uh Greg actually grew up. Yes, oh god, yeah. And and you guys are my best friends. So Greg, uh this is across the street from your house. So Greg grew up across the street from our grandparents. And our grandparents had a basement with two doors that led to like a utility room with like two. My grandpa my grandfather had like tools and stuff, and there was a mirror in the corner. And I remember I, you know, just being a kid, you're just adventuring. You know, I was probably like four or five. I don't even know if I was it's five. If five. And obviously, most of you out there, you know, the 17 of you listening that doesn't know Matt. Um Matt is a he's six, what are you, six three? Yeah. Six foot three. As an adult, I'm five's seven. So you can imagine how small I was as a kid. So you see this fucking ogre in a devil's mask scaring me. And I remember he did it through a mirror with a scary devil mask on, and I was traumatized to the point where I am in my forties now, and I remember that clear as day, like horrified. Horrified. Uh and uh I actually my we were I don't know why we were at my grandparents' house at the time, but my mother was there, so I ran up and like, mommy, mommy, and I think my mom gave you a good shoe and out. Oh, yeah, she did.
SPEAKER_01She did, yeah. You actually ran upstairs like Scooby-Doo. Like your feet were moving, but you weren't going anywhere, and then when you eventually like moved, your mouth came down. You're gonna scare the little kid?
SPEAKER_02You're gonna scare the little kid. You know, and that's like that's great. I never knew that story.
SPEAKER_03And looking looking back, I mean, uh you can't I I'd have done the same thing to my Was it Matt's mask or was it Billy's?
SPEAKER_02It was Bill's and it was a devil mask, and it was a good one. What was Billy doing with that mask? It was legit a good mask.
SPEAKER_01It was like a Holly mask, like you know, like just uh whatever, but you couldn't get away with that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I might have tried to scare your I might have tried to scare Jerry, but like it didn't come close to us. Yeah, that's great.
SPEAKER_03And in my defense, this mask wasn't something you'd get at like Spirit of Halloween work for like five bucks, like some cheap piece of this thing had detail. Yeah, I did.
SPEAKER_01I mean, this was a shading and shit.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it was rough. It was rough.
SPEAKER_01And I came out of like the dark room and shit. And like I sold it as much as I could.
SPEAKER_03I mean, listen, and I have an innocent Catholic upbringing. I can't have this. Oh, yeah, we were shit. Yeah, absolutely, man. Another one of my favorite stories, Greg, um, from the podcast was Matt talking about going to the strip club in Canada. Oh, yeah. You did hear that, right? Yeah. So uh first of all, we're all jealous that he got to meet Hank the angry drunkendorf. And he has a picture of him too. Yeah, I mean, that's about as holy grail as you can get. I mean, we you know, we can't do that. He's he's he's long past. You know, he was the best whackpacker. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02So shit faced, it was the greatest him. He would actually drink out of a sprite bottle. Yes, I know he did. He'd had the vinyl.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you're right. A sprite bottle, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's good. Wow. Um, so great guy. But don't you find it curious? So Greg Matt goes into like, oh, you need to be there for half hour. We're just meeting Hank.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And he's complaining about how his friends wanted to stay there. Like, don't you find it curious that Matt, the guy telling the story, who's married and was married at the time, is like, I didn't want to be there. Like, my friends kept me there. You know, like you're like, oh, wait a minute. I have respect for women. Yeah. He's like, I just wanted like he almost like he was allergic to other women. Like, I gotta get out. Like, the man with the microphone is is is pleading innocence here in this, you know. Um and then the other thing, uh his friend Caleb, who I think I I you've probably met him before at Cardi's. He's a really cool guy.
SPEAKER_01He's been to he's been to a lot of parties, good guys. But you might not have to be a good one.
SPEAKER_03He might not have like good guy, though. Very good guy. Uh he told a story about Caleb, and before Matt told the story about Caleb, and I'm talking before, like, a half second before it gets into the the meat of the story that makes Caleb look the worst, he goes, Oh, don't let your wife listen to this. Like, like at that point, like he's gonna turn it off and the wife's gonna go, okay, let's listen to like you know, the wife's not gonna want to hear, like, you know, completely let him just come back.
SPEAKER_01I even got a I got a better Caleb story with a strip joint. I'm sure you do. I would go into it. Might as well. I mean, since we're talking about Caleb here.
SPEAKER_03By the way, Caleb, this was not my idea here.
SPEAKER_01So this is this is these were great times. It really, it was so it was it was twit this was the crew. We used to called ourselves SPAF. It was like an acronym with our last names. And it was it was me. Of course you're first my friend J. Well, it just works. I mean, S is a cool letter. Then it was me, it was my my buddy Jason, Caleb, and then these two twin brothers, Sean and Derek.
SPEAKER_03All good guys I've met.
SPEAKER_01And then, yeah, that was the core, and then Brian, who I talked about, the older guy, he was there and he was so fun. Oh my god. I got stories about him too, but I'm not gonna get do too much into it. But Brian was was in there as well. But needless to say, so we're crossing the border. This is this is this is the beginning of this night. Mexico? No, cross Mexico. Oh, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_03I just want to make sure it's in a cannon.
SPEAKER_01And and my friend, I'm in the backseat, Caleb's like, I think, driving, Jason's up there, Sean and Derek. We're all in like one car. And my Caleb goes and goes, What's your you know, what's your reason for this visit? And Kev's like, uh, we're going to a a place called Babies. And I like, like, and typical Matt Stoltman's stupid stuff. I'm like, it's a strip club, sir. Like, from the Were you inebriated at this point? No.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's a okay. No excuse.
SPEAKER_01But from the backseat. Like, it's it's a strip club, sir. And and I was looking at me like, don't fucking tell him we're going to a strip club. Like, the guy knew our five dudes, like, you know. Yeah. So it was in Welland, which was like usually we did Lundy's Lane or the one right there at Fort Airy. And so we go to Lundy's Lane, or when this um Welland and go to this babies. We had no clue. Oh, and there was another guy, his name was Lauren, and he was about 15 years older than me. Greasy Jewish guy. I loved him. Greasy Jewish. Real greasy. Yeah, we're not. We gotta go to Sam for it. He's awesome. He was awesome. And there's uh before I get too much into Lauren, back in like the mid-early 90s, there was a picture that we found of him in the Buffalo News, and he was in a suit and it was a tie. And the guy doesn't deserve to be in any kind of outfit.
SPEAKER_03Why was he in the Buffalo News?
SPEAKER_01Because he was trying to open up a strip club in Chicago and they denied him a permit. Yeah, but like the guy.
SPEAKER_03So they gave them so they gave the mafia guy a permit uh a ricks.
SPEAKER_01So this was a guy that used to film, he would get he was single, older guy, he used to get hookers and put a hidden camera in his room. Oh man and he would show, oh, this is the girl I had this night, and this is the girl I had that night. Oh my god. I love Lauren, but like he was a he is a dirty old man. Right. But he he was with us. He uh so there must have been two cars. So he came with us because next door there was a massage parlor.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_01And it was like 10 bucks for like whatever. But Lauren was all about it, right?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So but I think Brian went with him, if I remember correctly. But Lauren went there and we were in this place called Babies.
SPEAKER_02Babies what a terrible name for a circle.
SPEAKER_01It was it was really weird because like usually the girls are walking around and they're trying to get you out to get a dance, and they're trying to push drinks on you. There was really none of that shit in this place.
SPEAKER_03Really?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was weird.
SPEAKER_03That is weird.
SPEAKER_01So we found out later that it was a bordello.
SPEAKER_03What is it for?
SPEAKER_01They had gave you a menu.
SPEAKER_02Oh, pick out the girls.
SPEAKER_01And what you wanted. But but so they still went on the stage, I guess. And so Caleb. They pull him on stage.
SPEAKER_03So for the record, nobody knew this going in.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, nobody knew maybe Lauren did. And they would have been the only one that we knew.
SPEAKER_03I don't believe that first second. No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_01Honestly, honestly. So so we'll get there, and back then you would put like the dollar in your mouth and you lay on the on the stage. Dollar dip? Yeah. So nothing about this. So Caleb, right? Larry told me about it. So Caleb did this. And he had like jean shorts and a belt and like a regular t-shirt or jersey. He always wore jerseys. And he wore shit jerseys. Like he would get the no, he would get the jerseys of the guys that no longer played on the team that were like for five dollars. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? So you had like a Tim Couch jersey on. It's like, what are you fucking doing? Whatever. I got you. You know what I'm saying? Quinn early, like now. But anyway, so he's he oh god, this is the best. So the girl does the takes the dollar, and then she's like, oh no, you're not getting out too easy. So she gets him on all fours. Oh, we're all watching, right? He gets she gets him on all fours, and she pulls his belt off, and she starts to ride him like a horse. So he's on all fours and she's around, and she takes his belt and she starts whooping his ass. Oh and and you heard the crack of the belt. Oh, yeah. Like it was literally like and you see Caleb's eyes and he's wincing.
SPEAKER_03Oh, like she's really nailed.
SPEAKER_01She is fucking like she's getting all that like rage of like you know, being molested as a fucking kid and all that shit out of her. And I'm like, where the f- Allegedly. Allegedly, yeah. And then and then Brian, Brian and Lauren are gone, so we know where they are. Yeah. You know, or at least Lauren. Okay. So we leave, you know, that was the end of that night. And then we find out like the two weeks later it got busted by the Canadian police for being uh a bordello. That's why we knew it was a border. You guys weren't there at the time. Oh fuck yeah. You wouldn't remember.
SPEAKER_02I would have been screwed. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I love going out with those guys. I would have called on you if I would have known you were there. Oh, yeah, yeah. If we were old enough, we would have called.
SPEAKER_01I love going out with those guys, but expect but oh my god, the the stories with Caleb, I can't even like count. They're all bad. Like they're all bad.
SPEAKER_02It's funny because like do you ever go do you ever go to a strip club and actually come home the next day and say, oh, that was a great night. Everything goes like hay wire at those places. I I I wouldn't know. Shit chats.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, it was so it was so Caleb was so bad.
SPEAKER_02That's funny.
SPEAKER_01But whatever. And I'm sure you had stories with your buddies, but like, you know, that was before you we all we all we that's before we all hung out.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. You were uh at a different point in life.
SPEAKER_01That was 25 years ago. And I haven't been to one cent in 25 years.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. The first stories I remember hanging out with Matthew was uh the Bills games. That's where we uh that's where that that was the best times. We would go there and you would always have the funny jerseys on. Yeah and he would you would piss off Billy, that which was even better. And then there was that Michelle and um they albined him. Yeah, and what's what was the husband's name, David or something?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know. I only remember he was bisexual.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And they what was funny is I was young and I always remember how goofy it was. They would sit in the car while everybody was cooking out, throwing the football. And I always ask I would ask you, I think, I'd be like, Why are they sitting in the car? Should be reading a book.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I kind of remember the reading of the book. Yeah, yeah, I do remember that. It's like why did you guys even come in? And it wasn't always just when it was like a j uh December game. Yeah, it was a preseason game and when it was.
SPEAKER_01Whole point, but I think she was always nice to me, though. I'll say I think she was in love with Bill.
SPEAKER_03Billy wanted to shag her. Definitely. Oh no, I shagger.
SPEAKER_01I think she wanted to shag him. You think so?
SPEAKER_03Or I feel like that's just what he said. I like I don't believe anything that guy said. She was a cup of course.
SPEAKER_01I would say they hooked up and the husband joined.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so he would have been a cook, as Jerry would say.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but I the the husband, I think, liked the guys too.
SPEAKER_03These are all the opinions of Matthew S. Well, they're opinions, but I mean the the the the South Buffalo Podcast Network. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But the picture the picture the pictures that were painted by these people were cl kind of like it's kind of like you kind of saw it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. But yeah, those um yeah, the first hangout I had with Matt, Matt mentioned on the on the um on the podcast was uh it was December of 01, it was right after 9-11. We went to see Ozzy and Rob Zombie and uh it it was we we played New England that day and we lost, obviously. And um I remember when we got there, there's this band playing called Mudvain, and they're not a band that either one of us listened to, but Mikey likes them. There you go. So they're like a slip-knot looking band, like they wear makeup and they got black light all over them and stuff, and I remember as soon as we sat down, they're in between songs, and this guy starts lecturing about absentee fathers and how it's important to have a father in your life, and it's like, motherfucker, we're dude, the Bills just lost, half this place is drunk from the game, you we're coming over here, 9-11 just happened two months ago, and we just want to see a fucking rock show.
SPEAKER_01We want to see Ozzy and Zombie.
SPEAKER_03And some jerk off who's who's on stage, you're blessed to play an arena is talking about absentee. Just play your fucking song, man. Just play your fucking You know what? Ozzy did it right. He came in on a Santa Slay, or you know, the actor. Yeah, I didn't. But so like, that's how you entertain a crowd. You don't go talk about, oh, you know, be a father. Like, no. Yeah, who are you talking to right now? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Meanwhile, Santa's crucified on the cross behind him. Right.
SPEAKER_03Oh, there you go, there you go. Jackass. Oh my god, but yeah, that that was um, you know, it was still a good time. And that was like when when Matt and I, you know, first started bonding.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And it really, it was a and it you can say it was like with with Billy, it was about sports.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And with you, it was sports, yeah, but it was also music.
SPEAKER_03Music, big time. Still.
SPEAKER_01And then and then it was like horror and smartassy, and you know, it kind of snowballed and all that.
SPEAKER_03And personalities mesh. Yeah. You know, and music, like you said. I mean, last night we hung out, we went to see a couple bands, so that's kind of our thing now, which is cool.
SPEAKER_01I've kind of big blonde, that was nice.
SPEAKER_03But um, yeah, but yeah, I mean, um, yeah, that she was he was I invited Jerry, Jerry didn't want to go. Last night?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, Jerry. I hope he's gonna be a good one.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if Jerry's in the live music.
SPEAKER_01Jerry's not a matter. It wasn't even about the live music, it was about hanging out. He like he he kind of laughed at man. He's like, like I'd come out with you guys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I heard a little bit on the voxer that he was supposed to wait on the deck or something afterwards.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he was, yeah, Jerry Jerry was not having it. I thought, like, why don't you come and have a good time? But he didn't want to do it. Like, all right, fine. That's funny. Where was this at again?
SPEAKER_02Where'd you guys go?
SPEAKER_03Uh the cove. Yeah. Oh, transit, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Is that the one that has the palm trees in the front? Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03They play actually metal bands there.
SPEAKER_01And you're right, I think there was a point yesterday where I was tweaking, like I was high and junk, maybe at a point like. Oh, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So Matt is are you hungover today? No. Okay. So Matt, um Matt's not a drinker, but he decided to drink last night, and um he took I love when Matt drinks. He gets he gets so jolly. Yeah, he's very loving. Yeah, he's very loving, and he just he thought So Matt Matt's habit is to embarrass, which is great. To embarrass us, and you know, he's very good at it. Yes, he is. Besides his mere presence. And um So he tried to embarrass me by pointing me out to the band, and it didn't and it didn't work. But Matt thought it did because he was so drunk and had an edible, and so he started crying, laughing in tears because he thought he embarrassed me, and the band didn't even see us. They were looking past us.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he's like, oh, this guy and his and his wife or his spouse. And so everybody started looking our way, and I and I went like this, I put my hand on Richie's shoulder like it was me and him.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I thought everyone was looking at us, but apparently not.
SPEAKER_03Nobody was, nobody cared, and he's like, I got you, and he's he's in tears laughing, and I'm like, what? You didn't know. That's what makes the joke better. Yeah, that's what was the best part.
SPEAKER_01Richie, I got you. You gotta talk about the all-time. Oh, yeah, okay. So you wanna do that? Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_03Before we wrap up, I think it I think it's funny from my perspective, because I was I was I was the victim here. So um, because we gotta get going here pretty soon. So um we had so far. Probably a lot. Almost 50. Cool. 50? Oh wow. So another thing that Matt and I enjoy besides music, uh common things is is movies. We're big Godzilla fans before Godzilla was cool, all that shit. Horra, hurrah, all that stuff. So I can't even tell you what movie it was, but we are going to the Regal there in Orchard Park, and we're meeting there. We're not driving together.
SPEAKER_01This might be the best thing I've ever done to him.
SPEAKER_03And I've done It was bad. It was good, it was great. Like, you talk about like having your your your legs cut out from under you, your balls cut off in public. So, okay, enough building it up. So you I Greg, if you haven't heard this story, I can't believe it. But so Matt he can sometimes be late. And this time he was late, and the problem with Matt being late at movies is he's the one that gets the tickets. Like, if he's late and I got the tickets, I don't give a f a fuck. Yeah, yeah. Like, let him let him stay out in the cold. I don't give a shit. But he had the tickets on his phone. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So No, we didn't have it on the phone yet.
SPEAKER_03Oh, whatever. Whatever.
SPEAKER_01Also, that's not that's not true.
SPEAKER_03Nope, nope, that's not true. No? No, I'll explain. I'll explain. So um it's so you know, everybody knows if a movie starts at 12.30 the showtime, it doesn't really start at 12.30. So it's getting around the time of the showtime. Let's say it was 7 o'clock at night. I am in the parking lot, no sign of Matt, not hearing anything on the phone. So I'm like, where are you? Not responding. I'm like, what the fuck, dude? The movies like start like we I have to get my popcorn, I have to get my drink, I have to pay, like I have to do all this shit. You know, and it's it's it's it's like the exact time that we're supposed to start. Where is he? And he's not responding. I'm like, is he okay? I didn't think that. I I was I was kind of more worried about the movie than that. I gotta throw that in there like I care. So he pulls up, and I'm like, there's this motherfucker. So then he just walks right into the movie theater. Like, I'm like, what the fuck is his problem? Like, what did like I see him physically walk in, you know, it maths hard to miss. And I don't mean that I don't mean interrogatory. No, you're not. He wears bright colored shirts half the time, and you know, he's with those dumb hats, he's got a frisbee on the back, or whatever windmill thing. Painter rats. He paint there you go. So he walks in, and I'm like, okay, whatever. So maybe he's got a piss or something, so I go in there. And so the way it works is there's a at least at this we did it, there's the front room, and then the main room where you get all your drinks. So that front room where you would buy tickets. So we already pre-bought our tickets before Matt stumbled upon my fucking story here and ruined it. Um so he walked past it, and before he as he was opening the door into the main room, I'm like, Matt, what are you doing? Like, why aren't you waiting for me? He looks at me, and there are at least 50 people in line.
SPEAKER_00In front and behind. Yeah, he's right in the fucking middle.
SPEAKER_03I I and I and he so I go, Matt, what are you doing? And he looks at me in front of all these people and goes, get away from me! And I'm like, and everybody looks at me. I go, what are you doing? Yeah, get away.
SPEAKER_01Why do you keep following me? Get away from me.
SPEAKER_03And I'm like standing there in front of all these people now looking at me as he just walked, he walked in, so I am by myself now. And so I'm like, you son of a bitch. So now I gotta walk by all these fucking people into the main room, and as soon as I do, there he is with that shit-eating grin on his face. Like, I fucking got you. That's great. It was like, oh, I have never been so embarrassed. I mean, I I wasn't mad because it was genius. It was great. I loved it. I mean, you D down you love it. Yeah, yeah. But in that moment, I was like, you son of a bitch. Like, and I'm like, when He couldn't escape. If we had Voxer at that time, oh my god, how great we were. We may have, actually. We may have. I just don't think it was. But it was one of those things where I don't know when you decided to do that because you ignored me. Okay. I I I was it was rough. It was rough, man. So you you almost want to get close to Matt as soon as you can so people see, like, I know this guy, actually. I'm not a complete. Unfortunately, I know this guy. Yeah, unfortunately. Oh my god. And you had a straight face on it when you're laughing or not. I looked horrified. He looked like I was. It looked like I was being like I was about to be raped by him. Yeah, yeah. He looked horrified. He's like, get away from me.
SPEAKER_00Like, I'm like, why do you keep following me? Yeah. Like I said, like a whiny little bitch and everything.
SPEAKER_03Everyone was just in these judgmental looks on my on their faces looking at me like, what a fucking weirdo. You know, so yeah, that was.
SPEAKER_00You had long hair then, too, didn't you?
SPEAKER_03I probably did. I probably did.
SPEAKER_02That is great.
SPEAKER_03I look like I I mean I to this day I look like I could probably stalk somebody. Who knows, you know? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02You look good now.
SPEAKER_03But yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_02Thank you very much, Greg.
SPEAKER_01Can I can I share one more story? Of course, this is your yeah, listen. This is this is the one between, again, it's Richie and I, but this one came right back in my face.
SPEAKER_03So Oh man, the Christmas thing. Yeah. So our friend right away that was fine awesome.
SPEAKER_01Our friend Dan had a Christmas party at his house.
SPEAKER_03May he rest in peace. Yeah, may he rest in peace.
SPEAKER_01And so there's tons of people that Dan knew. And I really I mean, I I knew obviously Dan. I know Rich and I think Dan's girlfriend at the time, and maybe his uncle and some other people, right? Yeah. But I didn't really know everybody. So I'm sitting there and Rich is sitting there, and maybe we're drinking at the time, but not.
SPEAKER_03Well, we I was drinking at the time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. We're not super dressing. We're not super drunk, but we're like, you know, we're feeling good. I was super drunk. Good. And it's where Rich is there, and he's got like a black iPhone, and and I'm sitting there, and I'm just like, whatever. And Rich puts the phone down, and I'm I'm like probably looking at my phone, and he gets up to go to the bathroom. So I look down and I see this phone, this black Apple phone on the on the counter. I'm like, oh that fucker, I'm gonna get him good. So I grab his phone, it's not locked, and I see right in the messages dad and Sarah. And he he's got a sister. So I'm like, fucker, I'm gonna get this guy good. And I'm like, hey, hey dad, I just want to let you know that I finally found my lover, is is it my black lover? We're we're in a we're in an alleyway right now, and I just got my ass reamed, and it was great. And I just I really want to tell you how much I love this. And I did like the same thing to this to Sarah. Yeah to say, like, he was coming out. Okay, yeah. And then I put the phone down and I'm fucking laughing my ass off, and I can't wait for Richie to come back from the fucking bathroom. And Richie comes down to sit down. I'm like, I got you good, you fucker. And he's like, What are you talking about? He's like, I just text your dad and your sister, and I said how much you like black eyes and dick and shit like this, right? Oh my god. And so Richie's like, what are you talking about? And he pulls his phone out of his back pocket. It wasn't my it wasn't my phone. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03It was it was a it was somebody else's phone who was actually a pro wrestler. Yeah. Oh my Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Oh dude, no, I didn't mean this, I didn't mean it. And he was quiet, but you could tell he wasn't happy. Yeah, you're not happy.
SPEAKER_03But it was a little, it was actually a little subtle in there. It was funny because he so I sit down after I take, you know, piss or whatever, and Matt's looking like he is now laughing, and I'm like, what the fuck is your deal? He's like, oh, you're gonna find out more for her. Like, like he's got like something on me.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03So he goes, why don't you take a look at your phone? So I'm like, alright, and I pull it out of my pocket, and then the look on Matt's face, of horror, of horror, when he realized he he took some Randall's phone who left it there, and then he had to do what he did, he had to admit to the guy a- So the guy's seen him take the phone.
SPEAKER_01No, he didn't, but he but he then I said, hey man, I text my phone by the phone.
SPEAKER_02I wouldn't even admit it, I would have said I'm gonna do it. I didn't know what I could do.
SPEAKER_00Well you wow I don't know. I mean, I also terrified immediately after by the time. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03It was time to go home.
SPEAKER_02By the way, I was the drunk one. He was the driver. Matt was the driver. When you were telling that story, immediately I'm thinking, Dick Man's not gonna believe that. And then I didn't know it was somebody's somebody else's phone. Classic.
unknownOh god.
SPEAKER_01And who knows? Sarah could have been like his boss.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Do you know what I'm saying? Or a girlfriend or something.
SPEAKER_03Maybe it was a wrestling promoter, and that's why he didn't make it. That's why he didn't make it that beginning.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, whatever. That is great.
SPEAKER_01So did you do you guys like this? Is this something? Oh, we're loving it. Alright, so we could do this again sometime? Of course.
SPEAKER_02Alright. Thank you for inviting us, Matthew.
SPEAKER_03All right. Well it does make uh my trips to work, and you're a driver, so yeah, it makes our trips to work, you know, awesome and makes it a lot easier, a lot quicker. And uh, you know, we you know, thanks for doing this and uh thanks for having us.
SPEAKER_02Next time we gotta get Jerry on here if he's listening. Yeah, get full of it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm sure Jerry's got some stories. Jerry has come back to life. He is returned from the dead. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So and kudos to Matthew for bringing him back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, kudos to Matt. Hey, I'm happy. I'm I'm happy like time to get over this shit. Yeah, peace and peace and love. Yes. So uh we'll I'll uh sign off and uh we will do or I will do another uh podcast come probably Tuesday or Monday Tuesday. I'll be looking forward to it. And uh but I'll be posting this right now, so uh I look forward to hearing from you guys. Thank you very much, guys. Go bells, go bells. Go bells.
